Let Me Hold You (Revision)
by Aether Edeline
Summary: Itachi is at a point in his life where he's become weak in the heart. The always strong Itachi is as bit a human as we all are, and the Uchiha madness leaves no one unscathed mentally. In his moment of weakness, he looks to strengthen his resolve (even if it's in a twisted way). What else would ease his burden if not Sasuke? -I wrote this a while back, and It still sucks eggs.
1. Chapter 1

_The floor beneath is cool. The earthy floor, it's so smooth in here. This cavern is dripping, and the walls look like jagged glass. _

Your grasp is so weak compared to my elderly one. He's trembling lightly under my weight. Shivering in this cold was of course to be expected, but he wasn't trembling for that reason. No…The weight of my own being was his reason for quaking. Yes. What he perceived to be who I was…

"Sasuke, I'm just holding you."

His voice trembles, and even with eyes widened in fear like that, he still tries to act tough by growling at me. "You…" It trails angrily.

I covered his lips quickly. Hearing judgment was the last thing on my mind at a time like this. Today, I'm a little weak, Sasuke. Don't make it harder. After all, this right here, you and me, is because I grew weak. Hearing those words from you will only make me want to crack and spill the truth.

He struggled under my weight, so I held him closer, tighter...

_You're mine tonight. Even if you're shriveling in fear…Fear…What else could you know me for anyway? _

"Let go!" He cried desperately, his eyes wide, dilation surely from the darkness, he clenched his teeth as he groaned. It hurt to watch, really…I thought of shedding a tear, maybe that would calm him, or for that matter at least confuse him.

I clenched those small palms tightly, now putting his arms above him. I wrapped my fingers around his hands. He clenched his teeth. I could see he wasn't enjoying this one bit—then again, I'm sitting on his lap while he's pinned helplessly to the floor. What reaction did I think I was going to receive?

I sigh and he twitches. I blink and he grits his teeth in anger. Our eyes glow in the dark, vermilion, glassy irises…

_I want to lick yours._

"What's wrong with you…? Fight me already, or kill me."

_What a pitiful voice…_ so full of fear yet he tries so hard to hide it.

_He's so scared. Of what? Of me?_ Like I really want to kill him. He's mine tonight.

In an attempt to calm him, I began to sing a song we once called our duet…

_Well, that sure caught his attention._

"You're even more twisted than I thought. Did you sing on that night?"

_I guess I only emit the worst of impressions. Not even a slight twinkle in the eye? _No, of course I don't deserve that—but he's trembling so hard. Is he really that scared or has his temperature finally begun to fall? Crap…I forgot about that.

I forgot to mention that it's freezing outside. On my way here, I saw the droplets on the hydrangeas had frozen on their way off the petals. This cave caught my attention. It's in a wood surrounded by valleys of trees. Snow is lightly and slowly consuming everything outside, even the mossy boulders that surrounded the path a little down from here. I found this beauty as I was walking with Kisame. He's such a noisy guy.

How is Sasuke here? Well, I kidnapped him…kind of. Orochimaru sure knew how to tire this boy out with training. I couldn't leave him out to freeze. And well, I took the opportunity to drag him all the way over here.

He struggles again, my attention snapping back into focus.

"I'll rip that tongue out before you can make another damn melody!" Oops. I almost let him slip. No worries, I got him good.

_You'll rip my tongue out…that would hurt if you could. I'd rather you suck on it. Ok…don't get an erection, seriously…not only is that inappropriate, I'll definitely destroy his image of me…if that's anymore possible. _

"Don't rip my tongue out," I say as I look around the cave. I need to get you warm. Since when do you wear such revealing things anyway? You're not listening to me are you?" Nope. Just continues to shout obscenities at me and continues his thrashing.

"Itachi, I'll kill you—ah!"

Ouch… nice going, you hit your wrist against these blasted jagged rocks. I'll patch you up later if you calm down.

"Stop thrashing around."

"Who are you to tell me anything!?"

Sorry, Sasuke, but I have to tie you up good and hard…

"I could stay here until you run out of energy and bruise those beautiful wrists till they're black."

He looked at me disgusted. I guess he didn't like the praise. Well, he threw his head back.

_Has he decided to give in…? OK! No, he hasn't! _

A smash to the forehead is what I just got. Ow…

The floor beneath is getting cold, I think my knees are frozen, and great, it's getting dark.

"How's about you sleep, and listen to me in your dreams."

Whoa, he pulled the sharingan out. No thank you. A quick tap to that special area around the neck and you're out cold. I just hope you stay that way so I could get you in a perfect bind. Guess I should start a fire.

I got up to stare outside. I can see my breath. The mountains and the trees are starting to hide that bleeding sunset. My eyelashes feel cold...

"I should really start that fire." Again, my breath floats in the air. "Rice cakes sound good with that. At least the wind isn't picking up."


	2. Chapter 2

"A purple sky…some…", I trailed off, "reds are in there…blues?" I sighed. The cold wind feels refreshing. Of course only I would think that.

_He's got such beautiful breathing…Since when do I have such an obsession with you? _

_I want those rice cakes. Spring cakes in the winter…Everything about this day seems off._

He stirs lightly. He's used to this cold, why am I so worried?

My attention was brought back to the cakes when I heard them start to crackle. I love mixing rice flour into dough. It feels like an ear lobe…a milky, white earlobe.

_That's nice…think about licking your brother's earlobe why don't you. A little touch won't hurt… Would it?_

I thought calmly, a lost expression on my face as I stared at the "dead" lump in my coat.

Looking back at the flat rice cakes, I added a few hydrangea petals to make a more presentable piece. They sizzled away, smoke rising and swirling into the frigid air. The light syrup in the other pan began to form small bubbles.

"It's so quiet." I whispered to myself, the breath fogged my glowing eyes. Only the whine of a breeze agreed. Slowly, the day became night, colder…darker...

An orange glow from the fire danced on my face as I took a look outside.

It's becoming pitch black.

"Alright…I've finished here…" So, I took the boiling pot and drizzled the clear syrup over my flat cakes.

_Pretty little things. Of course no one to share them with. Unless…no, he—well... At least I don't think he will_…

I sigh again. I carry so much grief, Sasuke. You don't see that. I created too great of an illusion. I can break that anytime; I can jumble that adolescent mind to the point where it melts all your senses into sheer confusion…Something in me wants to drive you insane.

"Why is that exciting me?" As I said this aloud to myself, Sasuke turned. He's clenching his teeth. I can hear that every breath he takes, stings.

"You need warmth…My warmth." I whispered to myself, I'm not sure what I mean. Do I really want to risk the little love he has for me, saved in that dark, frigid corner of his heart? Do I dare? I mean, that's why I brought him here.

These thoughts led me to a conclusion and I laughed.

_As if I intend to let this illusion go anyway. _


	3. Chapter 3

As I get closer, I can hear the chattering of his teeth.

"It sure is damp in here…" My palm was wetted by the floor as I nestled myself by him.

_How could I let myself lay him here? I'm terrible, just terrible._

Just what kind of a ninja are you Sasuke? I'm so close, yet you aren't even aware...or are you waiting to stab me?

_Here goes _

My palm slowly traveled across the Akatsuki garment, as I wrap an arm around him. Soft noise, a whimper…

Maybe he's dreaming_…_ Even if he is, it's probably a nightmare.

_Of course it's a nightmare_

I sigh at the grief that causes in me. Always, I'll feel regret. If anything, when I die, Sasuke should know that stacking stones by the tori wouldn't even lessen the burden. Actually, what am I thinking? He'd kick any mountain of stones by the tori in hopes it would make me miserable in hell.

"So close…" I whispered to myself, my breath evaporated as I held his face to mine, and through that mist, I see his eyes glisten.

_Oh…look at that, he's awake again _

"Don't touch me." _Sasuke's growling at me._

My, what a growl, but it isn't scary. I've got your cheeks squished like this. It's really just adorable, Sasuke.

Oh, okay, I'm stabbed now. What is that? Chidori? No…it's like a blade this time. At least you're stronger.

Quickly, he sits up, rips the binds, and thrusts a hand at me.

You know, I admit, I'm purposely letting him hurt me right now—but that doesn't mean this stab through my leg doesn't hurt.

"Guh." I cringe a bit. At the least, he's under the influence of my sharingan now. I caught him as soon as he looked into my eyes_._ He's smiling. It's so sinister, I don't like it.

"What are you doing to me, huh? Just how are you destroying me in there?" I obviously ask this as a rhetorical question, all the while shaking him by the shoulders.

"Eh, I don't want to be a part of it anyway. I just want to touch you. I have the chakra to spare…"

I gently fold your bangs behind your ear, and part your lips slowly with mine. Why are they cold? I hate that I can still feel you smiling as I kiss you now. I'll avoid that area.

"Let's see…Mn…Yes, I like this here." You've always had such a cute forehead.

I rest my own forehead on his and I stare into those dead, black eyes. "How many times do you wear that look, Sasuke? When was the last time you lived as yourself?" Why is it that instead of living, I took the life from you?

_Stop it, I can't…I can't break the illusion, just because I'm feeling guilty. It's all for Sasuke, it's always been for Sasuke. If I break my oath now…What would all his suffering have been for? You wouldn't believe me. Who would believe a coward that can't keep a secret just because of a little pain. What was it you said, Shisui? Something about a true shinobi suffering in silence… _

"Whatever. No more thinking."

There's a bit of crackling from the fire, mixed in with the wheezing of my breath. My voice is echoing in here, it's disgusting. I'm so loud. Why am I so loud? I'm just touching myself, and at that, I'm too ashamed to look at him, so I chose to masturbate to his neck. I catch a glimpse of the curse mark. Somehow, I'm excited now.

_That's right. I'm taking that away from you soon._

"Hng!" _Yeah, it's time to rub a little harder_, I think as I clench my teeth.

"Sasuke…" I look up at him. What did I expect? _Oh yes, Itachi, I've been watching this whole time._ No…You're still in genjutsu. Look at that dead stare, that ugly smile…That dead stare…

"Hng!" Did I just come? Fuck…I came and I didn't even notice I was at the edge. No…I didn't want to come to that stare. This always happens when I'm touching myself to you. It's never a good rhythm.

_Why would it be good? _

It doesn't matter, I came on you. You'll know, and you'll hate me more. Wasn't that the point?

I back away, catching my breath. You're still sitting there.

Let's look at the damage. Red glow from the fireplace on you, dead stare, evil smile, my bleeding leg. Dead stare, I'm sweating, evil smile—why is your breath evaporating? Oh…Right. Its cold tonight, isn't it? I'm terrible.

I lie you down in my coat, that expression still on your face.

_Suits the weather_

I go back to cooking the rice cakes. I left the pot boiling too long, that the sugar is just burnt and bubbled. The rice cakes are frozen solid. They crumble into my mouth anyway. I pour the burnt sugar—or what's left of it—onto the other, uncooked cakes.

Wait, that's wrong—I'm supposed to fry those first.

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore…"

The pot clatters as my arm goes limp. It crushes the cakes that I dirtied with burnt sugar. The flowers are still so vibrant on there, though…and the syrup spills onto the dirt, glistening like amber sap with the glow of the fire. The fire still crackling like the sounds of hell, beckoning, waiting for me...

I dig my face into my knees. "Ugh."

_I'm sobbing, aren't I?_ I sound ugly. I'm shaking so badly, now that I'm trying to hold it in.

_Now I just sound like I'm going to be sick._ _Coughing so violently that I'm drooling_? _What a pathetic scene_. _My throat stings, Sasuke. _

-I realize soon after that I was actually choking on the bits of rice cake I apparently forgot I was trying to eat-

_I wanted to take you…or so I thought. You'll hate me when you wake up. You'll hate me when you realize what I've done. You'll hate me…You'll always hate me from here on. _

That was the point, but…I see it solidifying in you more and more, and it kills me. That's right…Ever since the moment you threw that kunai at me, that night…I cried. I cried because I realized from then on, I wasn't big brother Itachi. I cried, because that was the moment the hatred in you started churning, and it was real. That whole plan I devised for you and me, it had set in motion.

"You actually hate me. And you know what? I hate myself."

For you or not…For the village or not…This is terrible. I'm terrible.

_I'm terrible… _


End file.
